You’re not a man because you turned 18. You’re not a man because you graduated college. You become a man when you start acting like one.

Here’s what it actually means:

1. Taking Responsibility

Boys blame everyone else when something goes wrong. They point fingers and find excuses for why they couldn’t succeed.

Men take responsibility and understand what they did wrong. They will take other people’s criticism and stand by what they did. They aren’t scared to be blamed for something, they’re true to themselves.

Men know that they have control and own up to their mistakes. When something goes wrong, they own up for it and say they were wrong.

2. Controlling Emotions

Boys lash out at other people. They can’t control the emotions that are building up inside them so they take it out on other people.

Anytime boys feel frustration, they need to take it out on someone.

Men are able to control their emotions. They don’t let their emotions rule them, they’re in control of their emotions.

Men feel anger but don’t lash out at their wife. They feel frustration but don’t take it out on their kids.

3. Sticking True To Their Word

Boys talk a big game, but don’t see through on what they say. Boys will say things they never have intention of doing. They make empty promises and people know they can’t trust them.

Men own what they say and are true to their word. They will say exactly what they mean and do exactly what they say. When they commit to something, it gets done.

4. Not Needing Validation

Boys need to be validated for everything they do. They need someone to tell them what they’re doing is right and give them constant encouragement that they’re going the right way.

A man trust himself to handle whatever comes. He isn’t stressing about if this is the right step forward. He moves through the uncertainty knowing that he will figure everything out

5. Being A Leader

Boys will wait for others to take lead. Let someone else make a decision and go along with it. In relationships, this is letting their significant other make all the decisions. A boy will stay behind and be a follower.

A man puts himself out there to make decisions. He will do what he thinks is best and set the direction. In his relationship, he leads with clarity and purpose. He doesn’t wait for his wife to tell him what to do, he takes initiative.

6. Build Something

Boys consume all day. Scrolling through content other people created, using tools other people built, working jobs that build someone else’s dream.

Men will spend their days building. Men build businesses, skills, content, financial security and legacies their children will inherit

7. Seeking Discomfort

Boys love to sit in their comfort zone. They’re scared to do anything new for fear of not being able to succeed. They will stay with the same set of skills, same set of friends and do the same things.

Men will spend their time seeking discomfort. They will learn new skills and move through the parts of being bad at something. They will go to situations where they don’t know people to meet new friends. They aren’t scared of being uncomfortable, they know growth happens in discomfort. Men know comfort is the enemy of growth

The shift from boy to man isn’t about age. It’s about taking full responsibility for your life, your marriage and your legacy.

Most men never make that shift. They stay boys in grown bodies, waiting, reacting consuming.

Don’t be most men. Be the many your family needs.